After the Habagat rains two weeks ago, my kids and I went to the market to replenish the food stocks that have been used up.  My kids were so surprised by the hustle and bustle at the market.  It felt to them like it was frantic last minute Christmas shopping but without the excitement or anticipation.  Anxiety was palpable.

They wondered aloud why people were panic buying.  So I explained to them that people were bracing for another storm or else, they had gotten stuck inside the house without much food and they are making up for lost calories.

The kids sighed, relieved that that didn’t happen to us.  They said, mabuti na lang tayo kahit papaano, we had food in stock in the house.  One of them observed that he had been to his classmate’s house and he sees his classmate’s food at lunch, and his classmates think he’s rich because he always has good food to eat, he said. They said they used to wonder why we went to the grocery store to buy food regularly even if the pantry was not empty.  I said, kasi, liblib na pook ang tinitirhan natin at takot tayong magutom! They laughed.  They thought I was joking.

I was dead serious. Takot akong magutom!

On my wedding day, my mother-in-law had only two things to say to me.  One of them was her bilin to me.  She said, “Siguraduhin mo lang na puno ang bigasan mo, may asin, mantika at asukal ka”.   The other thing she said to me was, “Mabait naman iyang anak ko, huwag mo lang hahayaang malipasan ng gutom at iinit ang ulo niya sa iyo.” I did not immediately take this advice to heart until I realized that it was true.  I had known hubby since I was 13 and I had known him to be calm, patient and even-keeled, not given to outbursts of anger or frustration, that is, except when his dinner is late.  Imagine my surprise.

I remembered my own mother’s advice: men who work hard to bring home the bacon do not take kindly to waiting for their supper. My mother said that the wife must have a hot meal ready for when the husband comes home from work. As young as I was when my mother first gave me that advice, I asked her, what if the wife also works?  Maybe back then I knew that when I got married, I would also be working outside the home.  My mother said I was to be a wife first before I was to be an employee.  She said to me, ”If you get fired from your work, you can always find another job, but if your husband leaves you because you neglected him, you may not find another husband.”  Touché, mom!

After two months of marriage, I decided that I had to get my wifely act together quick or my husband might just end up going back to his Mom’s house for dinner!  That was a difficult adjustment for me.  My husband was raised in Marilao, Bulacan and being in the province they had supper at around 5:30 pm.  I was raised in Mandaluyong and both my parents worked outside the home.  We usually had merienda at 5pm and waited until the family dinner at around 8pm.  This was the time we were all usually home.  Just as hubby had to learn to eat a little something to extend his patience until I got home from work; I had to leave work a little earlier to make sure hubby’s dinner was ready by 6.

So it became routine for me.  I left the law office at Shaw Boulevard in Pasig at 4pm.  I took Pioneer Street through the Boni Avenue tunnel.  From Boni Avenue, I would turn at that side street that took me to the Libertad Market where I shopped for fresh fish and vegetables.  Then I went down to Nueve de Febrero and came up on Shaw Boulevard to go to Cherry where I shopped for meat and groceries. Three times a week I did this and marital bliss was within reach.

In the weekends, I made big batches of food that taste better after it had been refrigerated for a day or two like paksiw, caldereta, mechado, adobo. I froze spaghetti sauce for quick meriendas.  I put them in small freezer-safe containers.  This way, anytime I am kept late because of the demands of the office or if I get caught in traffic, hubby would have something to heat up in the microwave for himself.

Hubby also made just one request from me when we got married.  He said that we were Filipinos and Filipinos are hospitable.  Our relatives and friends might drop by and there must always be food in the house to serve them.  He also said that if I had food ready for those rare times that the in-laws dropped by, I would not feel imposed upon and I would not feel resentful.   They didn’t drop by often anyway, but when they did, there had better be food in the house or else, my husband’s ability to provide for us and my competence as a home manager would be put in question.

He was right, of course.  And hubby asked so nicely, how could I refuse?  He also stated his case so thoroughly, how could I object?  We had to keep some food in store always.  This was not something imposed by my mother-in-law, my own mother or my husband.  This is something that the Bible says is wise.  The Bible says we should consider the ways of the ant and be wise like an ant.  The ant stores food for its colony.

What does the Bible say, after all? The heart of the husband must “safely trust in her.”  Why?  Because “she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”  She will “work willingly with her hands.”  She will also “bring her food from afar.”  She will also rise “while it is yet night,” and give “meat to her household.” This is the checklist of the Bible for a virtuous woman. A virtuous woman makes sure her family has good food to eat.

I have trained my kids to be handy around the kitchen as well.  They cannot always depend on Mama being home and having good food available for them.  They need to know how to make food for themselves.  I brought them with me to the market just as my mother had done with me.  I brought them to the grocery store and taught them how to shop wisely as my mother before me had done.  And I taught them how to cook.

All this, because takot kaming magutom.  My mother used to tell me that since I had gotten married I had become one of those people “whose god is their belly.” I used to bristle at that until I realized that the New Testament says, “he who does not provide for his own is worse than an infidel.” A house becomes a home only when it is a place where needs are met and desires for love and care are expressed through the most basic things: a hot meal and good company to share the hot meal with.  This is the stuff a home is made of.

Once when I was in the College of Law a friend of mine took me to their house at a very high class subdivision in Quezon City.  We arrived at lunch time and her parents were having their lunch.  They looked cute together, like they were on a date.  They invited us to stay and have lunch with them.  Her mother apologized at the simplicity of their lunch. She said they were having poor man’s fare of fried fish and ginisang togue.  I told them that we ate the same way at our house; we regularly ate fish and vegetables, too .  Good food need not necessarily be expensive food.  Even simple dishes, if it is tasty and well prepared can be the stuff that childhood memories are made of.

This is the kind of food you remember from your childhood; the kind you associate with home.  This is what good food can do: it gives you a sense of home, a sense of belonging somewhere where your belly and your soul are nourished.  So please if you hear on the news that there’s a storm coming, make sure there’s food in your house.  It may be nothing more than poor man’s fare but if it is food that meets the needs of the stomach as well as the heart, then it is the food that makes your house a home…. a shelter from the raging winds and pelting rain, a place where love and companionship is as rich as the food that is shared.