I’ve had a blog since 2005 but I didn’t know anything about blogs or even thought that it mattered.  A Sunday School pupil of mine from many years ago gave me a blog on wordpress two years ago and she set it up so that it would be syndicated to my facebook page.   Her intent was for me to have a new avenue for my lectures which she missed because she had relocated from Quezon City to Panglao, Bohol.

My friends and detractors all say that I am opinionated.  I give them the benefit of the doubt and I take it they mean that I have an opinion on most things. The blog provides the means for me to express my views.  I didn’t think the opinions on the blog would matter, or that the blog would be followed.  And I don’t even think that those friends of mine who follow the blog ever really read the blog.  I just think they were being nice and polite when they “liked” it.

I’ve observed that when I wrote on personal matters, the reach soars.  More people share the blog and more people talk and comment about the blog.  When I write about love, courtship and marriage, people respond and even re-post the blogs on their wall.  When I blog about current events, especially the RH Bill, my students read it avidly (presumably, they need material for the papers they submit for their classes). When I recount personal experiences and express insights into those experiences, people like the posts more.  I am very sad to say, however, that when I speak of doctrine or Scriptural teaching, the readership plummets.   Even if the readership is high, people rarely want to engage in conversation about it.  Very few ask questions and still fewer give comments.   I have often wondered why…. Could their silence be acquiescence?  Could it be agreement?  Or maybe, they are just too refined to engage in an exchange of words on facebook?

Perhaps my readers are so used to Sunday School and services.  When they hear Biblical teaching, they tend to keep quiet and either submit to the teaching or tune out or just keep their thoughts to themselves.  It could be that they are afraid to ask questions out of fear that they will be thought of as immature or worse, faithless.  Perhaps the internet is really a “voyeuristic” experience.  We go on facebook and look at each other’s walls and photos because we are curious about other people’s lives.  Filipinos would not think to go into their friends’ houses and look through their photos in real life, it would be rude; but on Facebook, it is acceptable and encouraged.  Perhaps we read and delight in reading other people’s experiences because we relate to those experiences and find similarities in our lives which in turn strengthen bonds of friendship.   Perhaps we read blogs to know we are not alone: someone out there is going through something similar.

Recently, a different point of view added a new facet to my blogging experience: a friend called it my “ministry.”  I felt the wind suddenly knocked out of me.  I don’t think the blog is sublime enough to be considered a “ministry.”  It’s just me talking.  Most people would rather I shut up, really.  My words often rub people wrong (and for this I am contrite).

I have never thought of it as a “ministry.”  It’s just like engaging in a conversation only through the internet and through a written medium.  But then, on the other hand, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.  We speak what we do know and we testify to what we have seen.  The disciples, after the ascension of Jesus Christ, ceased not to teach and preach Jesus wherever they went.  So I suppose, even on the internet, through a blog it can be done.

The small and often dwindling readership often nags me, though.  I should be doing more, writing more, thinking more, reflecting more.  I should be promoting more.  I should be more aggressive in asking people to read it and follow it. More is not necessarily better.  I may sow seed which someone else will tend but God will give the increase.  When the word of God is spoken it is never spoken in vain.  It can be used by the Spirit of God to reach whomever the Spirit of God is seeking.  God delights in us when we often speak of him.  He takes note of it.

So to ease the pressure on myself, I look at this blogging task as a means by which I can speak the oracles of God. I would like to think of it as a medium by which I can speak of the grace of God in my life and hope that it resonates with another person out there.  If it does not, then I am in good company: the great evangelists were voices crying in the wilderness (there is no one in the wilderness to respond to their message).  A great man of God preached for 120 years and no one responded.  The lack of response did not diminish the power of the word or of the truth that was spoken.

As one of my favorite authors, Oswald Chambers advised, “Gather your material carefully, and then allow God to “set your words on fire” for His glory.”  He also said, “The author or speaker from whom you learn the most is not the one who teaches you something you didn’t know before, but the one who helps you take a truth with which you have quietly struggled, give it expression, and speak it clearly and boldly.” (My Utmost for His Highest, March 10 and December 15 readings).  This is also my hope and my prayer for this blog.