I had an interesting conversation over the weekend.  I was asked what I thought of a person’s propensity to take selfies and how it could be a criterion for determining that person’s ability to succeed in a relationship.

What is a “selfie?”

Just to be clear – you know, so that we are all on the same page, I googled the definition of “selfie.”  And I found out that a “selfie” is a self-portrait, a photograph taken of oneself using a digital camera or smartphone for the express purpose of uploading on social media such as facebook, twitter or instagram.  It is taken to appear flattering or casual or to document or record significant events in a person’s life.

A “groufie” is a variation of the selfie.  It is a picture taken by oneself with a group of friends or acquaintances who may or may not be engaged in a common activity.

Why do people take “selfies?”

The most basic reason, I suppose why we take selfies is so that we can have a profile picture on our social media accounts that will then be associated with our user name.  It is for the purpose of identifying ourselves to people who are friends in real life who would also like to be friends in virtual or cyber life.

Some people like to document their activities or (in)activities so as to share their experiences with friends and followers on social media sites.  There is an underlying presumption that the posting of pictures will be interesting to others on the same sites.  So, some people post self-portraits during significant events.  Their friends and relatives can then see these pictures and be updated with news as to what is happening in the portrait taker’s life.

What is so objectionable about selfies?

What some people find objectionable in selfies is the frequency at which these are taken.   Some people are not satisfied with taking one picture, they take four or five and fashion the photos into a collage of the same person, often doing nothing but posing for the camera.  Some people build their lives around dressing up (sometimes with elaborate make-up or costumes) for the express purpose of taking a self-portrait which they can then post on their accounts.

Selfies are as old as the Greeks

It reminds us of the Greek legend of Narcissus.  Narcissus was a handsome young man.  His mother was told by Tiresias, the seer, that he would live a long life if he never sees a reflection of himself.  Narcissus was loved and admired by all.  One day, Narcissus fell in love with a nymph named Echo who rejected him.  Distraught by the rejection, he found himself by a clear and still pond.  He saw a reflection of himself in the pond and fell in love with his own reflection.  Sick with love for himself, he pined away and died.  On the very spot where he died, a flower bloomed which we now call the narcissus.

From this legend and from the character of Narcissus, we also get the adjective NARCISSISTIC and the noun NARCISSISM which describes an extreme self-love or self-involvement that denotes emotional immaturity.

Psychology Today ran an article by Peggy Drexler on September 16, 2013 which noted that selfies which project a sexual or sensual undertone are usually a form of self-promotion.  It certainly shows a degree of self-absorption as though the person taking the selfie is the star in her own reality TV show.  It shows a certain degree of preoccupation with one’s physical appearance.  And it brings the stress of being “camera-ready” all the time which then makes people pay particularly close attention to the way they dress.

What does the Bible say?  (Believe it or not, the Bible says a lot about the “self”)

1. The Bible refers to the “self” as the “old man” or the “natural man.”  The old man is the old sinful nature we were born with, the same which was crucified on the cross with Jesus Christ and the same old sinful nature which was buried with Christ.  In its place, we were given a new nature (when we were born again) and this new nature is the resurrection life of Jesus Christ because we were raised together with Jesus when he rose from the dead.
2. This old nature is a rebellious, selfish, self-centered, self-willed and self-seeking person.  It wants to promote himself and to seek only his own good.  It is for this reason that this old person had to die on the cross because self is the reason why we all fell into sin.  Eve and Adam disregarded God’s instructions and sought their own way, their own promotion and their own agenda.
3. Despite the fact that our old man has died with Jesus Christ on the cross of Calvary, it very often refuses to stay in the grave.  It rears itself every day when we choose to do things our way and when we focus on our selves (our own agenda, our own success, our own importance, our own problems).
4. The “self” is also referred to in the Scriptures as the “flesh” which has “lusts” or appetites which are not godly.  It always seeks its own gratification and its own satisfaction.  The flesh seeks attention, validation and approval from the world.
5. In the same way that the old and natural man cannot receive the things of the Spirit of God, the old man, the flesh is always at enmity with God.  We who live “in the flesh” that is, in the dictates of the appetites of the old sinful self nature can NEVER PLEASE GOD.
6. This is why Apostle Paul teaches us to reckon ourselves to have died to sin.  Every day, we are to remind ourselves that our old self has died – thus, we are no longer slaves of the old self to do the things that displease God.  Instead, Apostle Paul says, we are to DIE DAILY.  Meaning, every day and in every way, we ought to recognize when our thoughts, emotions and decisions come from the urgings of the flesh (the old self nature) or from the Spirit of God.
7. We are told by Jesus Christ that we cannot follow after Him (we cannot be disciples of Christ) unless we deny the self at every turn.  Thus, every thought, every tendency, every desire, every motive that comes from the old sinful nature must be recognized for what it is: sinful and evil before God.
8. We are to put on Christ, put on the mind of Christ which always seeks to submit himself to God the Father and do not His own will but the will of the Father.

 

So what?

Psychologists say that obsession with oneself as evidenced by taking too many selfies and posting them inhibit and even spoil real life relationships: it causes tension among friends because not all of your friends are as pretty or as popular as you.  It causes a great degree of discomfort because in your selfies, you are showing physical attributes or material possessions that can convey not only an obsession with outward appearances and material trappings, it also conveys pride.

It also conveys a lack of discretion and judiciousness.  Sometimes, people post photos of themselves in intimate poses or doing intimate things or clad in intimate clothing which should not be for public consumption.  Some people post photos of themselves doing things that should be kept private.

As a Bible-believer and professing Christian who is also a Bible Baptist, so what?

No one can stop you from taking selfies.  That is your right and liberty.  However, our actions are an index of our spiritual choices.  Our selfies are a fruit of the sinful seed of the self-life.  And by our fruits, we are known.  When we choose to honor self, we dishonor God.  When we choose to promote self, we demote God.  When we choose to satisfy self, we grieve God.

The obsession with selfies is an indication that we have vile affections (self-love).  It shows that we are strongly living for ourselves and ourselves alone – which then gives evidence that we cannot live or love for others, much less, live and love God.  We show that we are lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God. Living the life of self robs us of our joy.  J-O-Y is an acronym that shows our priorities: J-esus, O-thers, and lastly, Y-ou.  When we put ourselves first, we put the Lord Jesus last and others are often not even considered.

Jesus Christ is King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  A person who is saved, a person who has been born again, a person who has eternal life, is a person whose Savior and Lord is Jesus Christ.  Jesus Christ cannot be Savior only but not Lord.  If self rules your life, Christ does not rule there.  If Christ does not rule your life, he is not the Lord of your life and if he is not the Lord of your life, He is not Lord at all.

Jesus Christ must be Lord of all or He is not Lord at all.  And if he is not Lord at all, he can be no Savior either.  So, I suppose, before us is a choice: to continue living a life that is pleasing to ourselves and full of ourselves or living a life that is pleasing to God and full of God.  The choice is ours.  Choose well.