I was delighted when friends added me to two groups on Facebook:  one is a group for those who graduated from UP Diliman, the other, a group for those who graduated from the UP College of Law.

It’s fun to  touch base with people who went to the same school at different times, and yet, have common experiences that, when recalled, we all find funny and nostalgic.  These things are part of a not-so-distant past, a time when we were young and impressionable.  Our persons were shaped in part by those past experiences so that we have held on to them in our minds.

Maybe that’s the allure of reminiscing. As I reminisce, I share the impressions of the past with my children: I have found that it has aroused a keen motivation in them to think beyond high school (their present life) and emotionally prepare to get to university and beyond, to law school.  My husband also joined me.  Last night, we told stories of college and law school to our kids and that has given them a new goal to strive for.  It made them think of school as a ladder that they have climb: they have to finish high school as well as they can to get to college; and then they have to do well in college if they want to go on to law school.  By presenting college life as a positive experience that we now relish to re-tell to our children, they are motivated to line up their efforts, hone their skills and acquire knowledge that will enable them to pursue life along the same route of higher education. Isn’t this a middle-class value so tenaciously held in esteem by most Filipinos?

That’s one good outcome.

Unfortunately, reminiscing also lulls me: it pulls me to a distant time and place.  It helps me escape the tedium of everyday life to a happier, more colorful time. I feel an almost irresistible and compulsive urge to leave the present and re-live the past.  Though the past had its share of difficulties, time and bias have blunted the pain of the past, leaving me with a vaguely warm and fuzzy feeling that the tasks and responsibilities of the present cannot give.  It’s addictive!

Each time I open my email, I see floods of posts from these groups.  It’s difficult to just delete them all.  Often, the posts trigger a stream of memories for me and I feel the need to remind others, or to share my own memories. More posts in reply or reaction to my posts drive me to reply and react in a never-ending cycle…. not only is reminiscing a narcotic, reminiscing on social networking sites is mind-altering!

And even the seminar I have been attending the past three Saturdays are peopled with lawyers who have a common past: the UP College of Law.  We are updating our legal knowledge with new laws and new cases.  In order to do that, we must constantly take stock of what we already know, what we have been taught.  So, there is a requirement to recall past lessons, scrutinize stock knowledge, tweak and re-shape them to fit the present requirements of our profession.

i just occurred to me that I have been engaged in a systematic dredging up of memories and the exercise has robbed me of time that should be spent on more important things. When my memories get dredged up too often, my mind becomes agitated.  I can barely focus on the tasks at hand, and there are many tasks that scream to be accomplished.

There’s nothing wrong about recalling and sharing memories.  It helps me worship God, our Help in Ages Past.  Recalling to mind how God has worked in my life helps strengthen my resolve for present adversities. One good example is the prophet Samuel.  When Israel was having military troubles from the Philistines, Samuel erected the Ebenezer.  The Ebenezer is a rock commemorating God’s help in past military campaigns. Some experts say that past military victories are inscribed there with the names of the dead heroes.  It was meant to provide evidence that God has brought them safely thus far.

But bringing up the past too often stimulates my mind.  My mental energies are spent digging up the past that my mind becomes murky and the present passes in a blur.  I become myopic in the present.  I cannot see God working here and now. Constantly recalling the past makes a demand on my time such that all else is shunted aside. The memories blur my priorities.  Memories numb me to the gentle and quiet voice of the Spirit of God.  The good memories of the past have to be set aside, even those memories of past spiritual victories if these beset us, impeding  us from pressing toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God.  No wonder even Apostle Paul said that he has made it a habit to forget  “those things that are behind and reaching forth unto to those things that are before.”

I am not alone.  Even the Christians in the New Testament times had things that preoccupied them.  Their preoccupations with genealogies, foolish questions and contentions bred a neglect of good works.  As a result, they have not given attention to the reading of the Word, to doctrine and exhortation.  They have neglected the gift of a vibrant spiritual life, they were unable to meditate on spiritual things.

To put this in personal context, if I spend most of my time on-line and off-line stimulated with recollections of the past, they clutter my mind that I cannot focus on spiritual tasks. My sharp memory becomes an instrument of the Enemy to distract me from spiritual tasks at hand. The voice of the Spirit of God is a “still small voice” that easily gets drowned out by the hustle and bustle of the outer life.  In order to live a spiritual life, the spirit must be at rest.  One has to be still to know God.

I have too many things on my plate at the moment.  I have indulged in too many trips to the past that has left my mental and spiritual life cluttered.  I have allowed this to happen because I am all at once accomplishing a burdensome legal chore (the MCLE- the Mandatory Continuing Legal Education required of every lawyer in the country).  I have become lazy and neglectful in my spiritual disciplines.

I would like to thank one of the followers of this blog for gently reminding me that I have not posted anything significant of late.  Too many things are going on around me, I find it difficult to focus, but I must focus.  I must sort out my priorities and fulfill those tasks that need to be done.  Thank you, dear blog-follower.  You cannot know how helpful your gentle reminder was to me.